The quarantine measures this pandemic is an opportunity for parents to relate with their children. Staying at home can be seen as a way to know more about your child’s thoughts, wishes, and behavior. As a parent, I find it exciting and meaningful. I bet you wish you have time for your children before the pandemic hit. Right?
Parenting is defined as the process of raising children to become healthy adults. They provide care and protection to their children. They can influence the life and the future of children. The parents are the first child’s teacher and guidance counselor.
Parenting is related to various outcomes.
- Parenting influenced the self-worth, image, and confidence of their children. They are the number one fan of their children. They praise and acknowledge the strengths and desirable behavior of their children. The positive affirmation of the qualities of their child contributes to healthy self-esteem and self-confidence. So, if you always criticize your child. Think about it.
- Parenting enhanced the academic performance of children. Parent involvement affects the academic productivity of children. Children will have an idea of your priorities and values. Checking your child after school matters, including supporting them on their homework, projects, and school activities. Indeed, children from healthy families are productive and more academically engage.
- Parenting contributes to emotional stability. A healthy relationship between the couples and parents to children cultivate emotionally healthy adult. Trust and hope trait stems from the children’s childhood experiences. However, unhealthy family relationships at home may lead to violence and crime. Specifically, if the child’s needs are neglected. These can result to under develop social competence. The lack of role models can result in hostility and crime.
- Lack of parental love and support may contribute to depression and potentially serious mental illness in children.
Parenting myths and facts
Myth no. 1: All parenting skills are natural
Facts: No one is born with all the skills required to be an effective parent
Myth no. 2: A healthy adult can be perfect
Facts: A healthy adult strive to become competent and a better parents
Myth no. 3: Good parenting guarantees good children
Facts: External factors like peers and situation can affect children’s behavior (positive and negative)
Myth no. 4: Parenting brought joy and happiness
Facts: Parenting can be fun, sad, exciting, stressful, satisfying, and boring
The A to Z of Positive Parenting
From my observation and relationship with couples whose children are adults and successful now. They give me important lessons in raising their children which they find crucial in overall wellbeing. And this is what I want to share to you.
A – Accept your child’s identity, strengths, and weaknesses
As parents, it’s important to accept our child’s identity including sexual preferences, personal style, and career path. Unconditional love stems from accepting our child’s identity, weaknesses, as well as strengths.
B – Be a good role model
Our child learns not from what we say but from what he sees and observes. Our action is powerful than words. If we want them to be responsible for small things then we have to show it. If we want them to be kind then it should be seen from us.
C – Communicate with the intent to listen
As parents, communication is essential for effective relationships. Be sure that when we open our mouth we also open our ears with the intent to listen to our children. Let us not invalidate their feelings if they are down. They should not feel they are alone. Stand and stay on their side.
D – Discipline with love and fairness
Our children have unique personalities. One of your children may please you and the other is testing your patience. Whenever they do wrong discipline with love and fairness. Let them not feel that you value them differently. There should be no room for comparison (both of them have their strengths and weaknesses). Because this can create division with your children. Children who grew old with a positive relationship with their siblings feel they are both loved by their parents.
E – Encourage healthy eating habits
In this pandemic where physical mobility is limited, it is important to check healthy eating habits. Educate your children to eat vegetables and fruits. There is a youtube tutorial where you can watch to prepare plant-based food. You can get ideas on how to prepare enticing vegetable dishes.
F – Find ways to get fit together
Playing is a safe space for children to cope with this pandemic. Parents can be creative to prepare exercise activities for fun and seem like playing. Surely, your children will love to join you with indoor physical activities. Youtube has fun physical activities you can adopt enjoyable for your children. Some may purchase a dance pad online and use it to attract their children to participate in physical activities.
G – Give household chores that build a sense of responsibility
Children should learn household chores such as cleaning their bedrooms, washing dishes, cook food, and washing their clothes. Household chores promote a sense of responsibility.
H – Hug your child to build self-worth
The health protocol this pandemic taught us of physical distancing. Make sure that when you hug your child you observed proper hygiene such as taking a bath if you travel. Including self-health check and wearing of face mask and face shield for protection. Hugging your children can build self-worth. This physical touch reminds them of love.
I – Inspire your child through kindness
I believed that children are inspired not only because of their parent’s achievements and socio-economic status. They are inspired because of the gentleness and kindness they saw in their parents. Slow to anger and kind words. Helpful to people in need.
J – Join school activities to assess child’s progress
Parents should participate in children’s school activities especially when they are at elementary and high school level. By joining the school activities it allows you to assess your child’s progress. In addition, feedback from teachers is critical for children’s academic progress and success.
K – Keep your promise or do not make the promise
Our children have sharp memories specifically in ‘promises’. Children’s love gift and presence. If you think you could not deliver your promises next time do not make promises.
L – Laugh together and enjoy each other’s company
The indoor physical activities, chatting while having dinner, and family watching together promote happiness in the family. Parents easy to get along with buffers children stresses this pandemic. They view their home as relaxing when they can laugh and enjoy their parents’ company.
M – Make family rules and enforce them consistently
Upon setting family rules, it is good to allow your children to participate in creating family rules. It promotes they are part of it. Agreement between parents and children on family rules likely teach them responsibility for their actions and decision. As parents, the family rules should be enforced consistently. For example, Sunday is an internet less and gadget less day.
N – Never use physical force on your child
Refrain from using physical force on your child. Whenever you discipline them, talk to them regarding their mistakes and the consequences of their action. Always consider the developmental approach in disciplining your child such as letting them learn from their mistakes.
O – Offer help to your child when needed
If you observed your child is overwhelmed with his or her activities, offering help is good. As parents, helping them doing their school projects like art projects can strengthen their relationship with your child. However, parents should balance between providing help and assistance from letting them do activities alone.
P – Praise your child achievements
As parents, timely recognition of children’s achievement can motivate them to perform better in future activities. School achievements, specific abilities, and community work can strengthen self-confidence and life meaning for children. The pandemic provides an opportunity for children to practice community work. For example, instead of celebrating a birthday – the child may choose to donate money and or food to a needy community.
Q – Quickly break your child from harmful activities
As parents, there are things you do not know about your child (his or her behavior when with friends). As soon as you recognize activities detrimental to his or her health talk to your child with the intent to listen. Discourage your child from getting along with bad company such as influencing your child to smoke and drink liquor, vandalism and destroying public properties, disrespecting authority, and not attending class.
R – Read autobiography of successful people to your children
Give an extra push to your children to aim high by reading the autobiography of successful people. The child will understand that success is for everyone who dares to try. At a young age, they will understand the role of mistakes and failures in success. You are teaching your child to learn.
S – Show cost-effective measures to your children
It is nice to teach cost-effective measures to save resources such as turning off the faucet, light, and other electrical appliances. You can also teach your children to use and recycle old materials instead of buying new products. These simple activities will help them become creative.
T – Teach children to be grateful and resilient
It is interesting to teach gratitude and resiliency at a young age to your children. Show them the value of gratefulness through appreciation and thankfulness to people, situations, and God for the good things. In addition, allow your children to struggle and don’t shield them to help them become resilient. Just guide them to learn to bounce back from challenges.
U – Use the opportunity to show your love
Love is a basic need. Use every opportunity to express and show your love to your children by accepting, listening, giving gifts and time, and physical touch.
V – Value your child’s opinion and thoughts
As children grow and mature, they can have an interpretation of what is happening around them. Be willing to accept and listen to your child’s thoughts and opinions. Guide them by allowing them to share their experiences and views about it. Children who perceived their parents valuing their opinion and thoughts have a good relationship.
W – Workout the family spiritual needs
Aside from the emotional and mental needs of your children. Work out the family’s spiritual needs by showing them integrity. Teaching your child, to be honest in their activities. Leading in attending online mass and other religious activities. Help your child understand not to rely on their strengths but to have faith in God for uncontrollable things in life.
X – Xerox and save records of your child achievement
Parents are the number one fan of their children. Keep all the pictures, records, diplomas, xerox the awards received by your children. Display the medals and other activities that represent the progress of your children. This shows how proud you are as parents to them.
Y – You must date your child
When pandemic ends, make sure you date your child. It is important you have a dialogue a one-to-one conversation with your child. Children likely to open up when they perceived their father or mother cares to listen to them.
Z – Zoom over this A to Z again
Parents are not perfect. We don’t have all the skills to be effective parents. Zoom over this A to Z of positive parenting in any case you wish to improve your parenting skills. It is never too late. You can learn. You can be a good parent.
